Not The End, But After The Beginning
by llAurorall
Summary: Helena says goodbye to Myka. Set between the warehouse being saved and H.G. apparently disappearing into thin air.


So, this is my first story for H.G./Myka. I only recently got into the series too, so here's to learning. I know H.G. should be back tonight (thank the gods) but I wanted to write this anyway, even if I turn out to be hugely wrong.

Enjoy!

_Not The End, But After The Beginning_

Helena swirled her wine glass. She watched the scarlet fluid wash up to the rim and leave a blood-like film against the glass as it settled again. It was hardly the vintage she was accustomed-to but in this new world, she drank for purpose rather than pleasure. The alcohol slowed her limbs and diffused the adrenaline still pounding through her blood. Even her mind became numb; she needed everything it could offer.

She took another swallow, gulping it down as she might water. The bitter tannins made her grimace. The glass clinked against the wooden table top as it settled, startling Trailer at her feet. The dog's eyes were bright in the dark, reflecting the moonlight outside. Helena suddenly thought of Emily.

"A cat, indeed." Trailer whined at her. "Cat's are far too self-important." Helena grinned. "I can't afford to be out-shone by a cat now, can I?"

Trailer went back to sleep at her feet. Helena reached for the wine bottle and was a little dismayed to realise she had finished the whole thing. She contemplated fetching another but just as quickly decided against it. She had a formidable metabolism for alcohol, despite being in stasis for over a hundred years, but there was no cause to push it. Not when she had things to do.

"You should sit with Claudia," Helena said to Trailer. The dog sat up and cocked his head. "She'll need your gentle soul."

Trailer padded up the stairs and Helena waited until he was out of sight. Once alone, she rose from the table. She wobbled a little, putting a hand out to steady herself. Exhaustion was catching up to her.

While she no longer had a room at the bed and breakfast, Helena had secreted a few things around the building on her first stay. Taped to the underside of a side table was a modified Tesla; under a plant pot she had hidden a few bills; inside a jewellery box was a phone SIM; under a loose floor-board a utility knife. She gathered these things quickly, stuffing each into her clothes and out of sight. She had to leave before anyone suspected.

Too much of what had happened today was wrong. There was not enough alcohol in the world to erase the oddities she had seen. Arthur's behaviour bothered her particularly and if she was ever to uncover the truth, she had to get out from under his watch.

Common sense told Helena to run; now, before anyone could stop her. Only, her heart begged her differently. She looked up at the ceiling, envisioning Myka in her room, clutching her ridiculous teddy as she slept.

She had to say goodbye.

Helena approached the stairs the same way she would a mountain. She took a deep breath and summoned strength fast-fading. The first step was the hardest, the rest becoming easier. She followed the curve of the banister up to the second floor. Myka's bedroom was at the end and even from the stairs, Helena could see light coming from under it.

She knocked on the solid oak door quietly. Too quietly she first thought, only to hear movement and then be blinded by light as the door opened.

Myka had been crying.

"May I come in?"

Myka stepped aside and Helena crossed the threshold, heart sinking with the lock as it closed. She wished she had searched for that second bottle of wine. She needed courage now. She had long been weak when it came to affairs of the heart. Tragedy had ruined her.

She turned as Myka spoke. She was reclined against the bedroom door, features drawn and tired.

"I used to read your books," Myka said. "When I was kid. I loved them all and I read them over and over; on holidays, over school breaks and when I just needed to escape..." She grinned to herself. "I used to imagine you were this dashing rogue who went on wild adventures. I imagined you as the perfect man; smart, handsome and charming." She laughed.

Helena smiled. "Well, you weren't far wrong."

"I used to imagine meeting you." Myka's eyes darted away. "I never imagined saying goodbye."

"Myka..."

Myka met her squarely and Helena held her breath. "I ne-... I don't want you to go."

It was the worst thing Myka could have said. It was exactly what Helena longed for. She fought it down, focussing on the reasons she had to leave. She had to find out what happened today, why the Warehouse had been saved by nothing more than what appeared to be _deus ex machina_. Artie, she was sure, was hiding something; more than just his rapid about-face regarding her.

If something was going on, she had to find it, if only to protect Myka.

Myka could see the resignation on her face. "I thought we were friends..."

The hurt in her voice was enough to make Helena weak. She inched closer, looking up into Myka's eyes. "I thought... I rather hoped, we were more than that."

Myka nodded, licking her lips. Helena could feel her breath against her face. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Then why are you leaving?"

Tears spiked Helena's eyes. She reached without thinking, fingers lighting against Myka's jaw. Her breath hitched as Myka sighed, tilting so that Helena's fingers travelled. They came to rest wrapped around the nape of Myka's neck, nails scraping through the fine hairs there.

"I have to," Helena said, beseeching. "I have to."

Myka fell forward, head bent and eyes closed, pressed against Helena's forehead. "Tell me why. Tell me how you can just-"

Helena cut Myka off with a finger to her lips. "Don't even think it. Don't presume this is easy for me." Her voice, rough and broken, said everything. "This is..."

Myka rolled further into the embrace, her fingers reaching up to latch onto Helena's shirtfront. "_Unbearable_."

She was close enough to claim a kiss. Helena's nose brushed against Myka's and it would take nothing more than a breath to bring them into contact. She wanted it; wanted it more than anything. She could feel it.

"You've been drinking," Myka said lowly. Her breath, damp and hot, brushed over Helena's chin. She smiled suddenly, eyes dancing with mirth. She affected a British accent that sounded ridiculous. "Do I make you nervous, darling?"

Helena smiled, charmed in an odd way. She intended to come back with something witty and roguish but what came instead was naked vulnerability. "You make my miserable existence mean something."

Myka sucked in a breath, jerking in her arms and seeming to collapse against the door even more. She pulled Helena with her, small and raw.

"I don't want you to kiss me," Myka said, holding tight. "Not if you're leaving. I don't want our first kiss to be one where you say goodbye."

"Then I won't," Helena promised, "No matter how badly I would wish to."

"It's yours," Myka said, drawing Helena into a bruising hug. Her lips brushed the shell of Helena's ear, making her shiver. "As soon as you get home, _I'm_ yours."

Helena squeezed one last time, breathing Myka in until she thought she would burst, and pulled away.

"Be safe," Myka whispered, opening her door.

Helena smiled, eyes wet and heart pounding. "I will come back," she promised. She crossed the threshold again, back into the dark corridor; away from Myka and light and all the good things in her life. "I will come home... To you."

Myka closed her eyes, tears falling free. Before Helena crumbled completely, she fled down the hall, silent as the grave. At the top of the stairs, completely concealed from view, she heard Myka whisper.

"I'll be waiting."

_Aurora_


End file.
